Divorce court (with the judge): 10 tips to Make the Right Impression With the Judge


Going to Divorce Court to Get Divorced and Wondering What to Wear?

It’s been a while since I dished out legal/courtroom divorce advice. I’ve found myself focusing more on how to save marriages rather than how to do divorce, lately, for some bizarre reason. Plus, I have not been wearing my divorce lawyer hat very much at all. It just feels somewhat uncomfortable for some reason. I just got to the point where I feel people should handle their own divorces and I don’t want any part of it. I don’t want people blaming me for their problems. I’m not the one who screwed up their marriage and so don’t pin this on me, is how I feel about the whole thing.
I mean, I understand everybody needs somebody to blame. But don’t look at me. I am not the heavy. So I basically started to move away from the divorce lawyer thingy, even in my blogging, and was focusing more on marriage tips, which, when you get right down to it, is hugely hysterical in more ways than one.
But I thought I’d throw this one up: How to make the right impression in divorce court (with the judge). These are totally common sense tips, btw; and I’m sure you don’t need moi to tell you this. But here’s my list:
Wear the right colors – by this I mean the right color for you. There is a science to this. When you wear the right color for you, you are more attractive and tend to have a more favorable impression on people. So don’t wear bright yellow if you can’t pull off that color. Don’t wear black if it makes you look depressed. Don’t wear white if it makes you look washed out. That sort of thing. Get the idea? Wear the right color for you.
Wear the right outfits – Don’t go into court looking like a trollop or like an ax murderer. It is an important and impactful event, your divorce, and you should dress respectfully. Think Lindsay Lohan. The girl might be clueless about proper life decorum but have you seen her when she has a court appearance? Very ladylike and stylish I must say.
As for the rest of my tips, (yes, I suddenly feel very lazy and don’t want to elaborate as I think these are self-explanatory):

3. Speak when spoken to and with respect and deference

4. Don’t make disparaging remarks about your ex

5. Smile

6. Stand when you address the court

7. Don’t interrupt the judge

8. Arrive on time

9. Follow court orders

10. Be “cooperative”

Eh, voila! You have made a stunningly good impression with the judge and you can expect that he or she will rule in your favor at least 95% of the time!