Do "opposites" attract in a marriage? Or is it a recipe for divorce?

They say that opposites attract. Okay. Whatever.  But does it work in a marriage? And what is an opposite? The easy answer are the obvious: race, religion, ethnicity, socio-economic background, politics, those sorts of things. But there are other issues like: sociability, hobbies, temperament,  personality, ambitions, goals, outlook, nature, and others.
What happens when you marry your opposite? It depends on the couple, I think. You can have a couple that shares the same race, politics, religion, ethnicty, etc, but they are opposites. In the small ways that matter, they can be totally incompatible. Then you can take each of these people and put them with a different person of a different race, politics, religion, etc and they may get along famously.
I mean, I think that generally, a marriage where you share sameness in the big and little things, is one that has a better chance of survival. And I”m just being frank. I’m keeping it real. If you have too many outward differences, for example, the world at large can get involved in your relationship and destroy it from the outside. So you may think you were not compatible but really, it was outside forces, sometimes insidious, that ate away at the marriage and the relationship. So, I think to survive in the world and to have an easier time, the big outward factors like race, ethnicity, religion, etc, should be congruent and harmonious. You don’t want to be opposites if you can help it, because the world will not be so accomodating. People are mean. Trust me.
But it doesn’t mean you can’t make it if you are different, or if you are “opposites.” It will take more labor, true. But it can work. There are couples as I said, who still don’t make it when all the big factors are congruent and couples who make it when the big factors are not congruent. I think, really, that the question of opposites deals with more than that which is superficial. Race and ethnicity and stuff like that are superficial differences that the world can see, that you can see. But inside, other more intangible differences that makes you “opposites” can be bigger problems than the big, outward things.
I mean, if your personalities are opposite, this could work, but it could also be a big problem even if you are congruent in other major ways. Take for example the pessimist being married to the optimist. This could totally work. But it could also fizzle because some one of them could get tired of the other. They could lose the ability to relate to each other because of this personality difference, and it doesnt’ matter if they share other big things in common like religion and ethnicity.
Temperament is a big issue too. If you have a high energy, high strung person with a couch potato, this could be a big problem because one person may feel the other never wants to do anything and the other could feel that there is too much activity for them to handle in the relationship. Or one could be quick to anger; and this could be scary to the other person. Or one could be prone to silences and withdrawals that stresses the marriage to its demise.
A marriage of opposites could work for some couples. Some couples thrive with the differences between them. The big and small differences fuels their unions and so whether its race or temperament or religion or hobbies, even in spite of the differences, they have a huge amount of fun together. The just like each other. Ultimately, I think that liking each other is one of the big fundamentals for a successful and sustainable marriage. It’s more important than love or being the “same.” A married couple who likes to be with each other (notwithstanding their “differences”) is a couple who is destined for an enduring union. But if they don’t really like each other and don’t really like to be together (even if they are “congruent”) the marriage will end in divorce.
So yes, opposites attract. When they marry, it can work if they mutually “like” each other; if they don’t, this could totally be a recipe for divorce.
What do you think? Do I just need to shut the bleep up? I probably do. I talk too much. I am going to stop blogging. I need to stop. I need to shut up. Nobody listens to me, anyways. Shut up, Jeannie Goldstein! ahahahahahaha 🙂