How to safely abscond with all the cash in the event of a divorce

Buenas Dias, Amigos! It is such a lovely, rainy, cozy, Sunday Morning in Santa Fe, New Mexico!  Ah, gosh….sigh…
Anyway, so that I don’t bore you with TMI, I thought I’d give you some good, reliable info on how to “safely abscond with all the cash in the event of a divorce.” Ahahahahahaha 🙂 I’m so nuts, aren’t I? I”m completely, 100%, certifiable.

Crazy, Dirty, Money!

And, I mean, I just crack myself up. I really do. Anyhoo, the best way to abscond with the marital cash is simply to anticipate the divorce years ahead of time, and place the loot in a foreign bank that does not have a treaty with the U.S., like, oh, I don’t know, the Cayman Islands? Maybe Monaco? Switzerland? Some one of those types of places is great to stash marital cash. Course, your spouse can’t be the wiser. He or she must think you are as happy as a clam in the marriage. Then, when they least expect it, years after the loot is safely earning interest, calmly, respectfully and sympathetically request the divorce. Bend over backwards to be conciliatory and reasonable. Offer to split the pittance that is left in the marital vaults 60 -40 in your favor obviously, but then your spouse will negotiate to 50-50 and feel like they did good. So you not only get all the loot you stashed in foreign banks, you also get 50% of what’s left. Brilliant, eh?
Now, one caveat: don’t get caught not paying taxes….ok. Time to get back under the covers. It’s a bit chilly up in here….maybe some hot cocoa is just what the doctor ordered.