Does getting divorced make you a failure?

Does getting divorced make you a failure?
Who isn’t afraid of failure? Yesterday a friend and I were having lunch together and she basically made a comment about being afraid to fail. And that resonated because who among is isn’t afraid of failure? Failure is a bad word. Nobody wants it attributed to them. But I just think that that’s kind of silly. Because every body fails at some time or another at some thing. Even if divorce is a failure in the strict sense of the word, does it really matter at the end of the day? I mean, it’s one failure in your life. You will have others. And you will have successes too. In the aggregate, all it adds up to, is your life. Your story. The complete tragicomedy of it all. And your divorce is just one of the snippets of the whole soap opera.
So I guess my answer to the question is yes and no. Divorce makes you a failure at that particular marriage. It didn’t work. You needed to move on to the next thing, and you did. You ended the marriage. But no. Divorce doesn’t make YOU a failure. YOU are so much more than the sum of one part which is a divorce a a couple of divorces. You’ll have even bigger failures and successes and more failures and more successes till you take your last breath. We all fail, every single day, at something. Even if it’s as simple as being civil to our fellow human beings. And you know, it’s not about beating yourself up for one of the most human experiences — not mastering something you really wanted to master. It’s about learning lessons. It’s about growth. It’s about memories. It’s about self-awareness and acceptance. It’s about surviving. It’s about making it to the next episode, the next scene, the next set. Yes, life is just one big movie, isn’t it? We’re all in our own little movies called our lives and divorce or whatever other failures we face are mere little snippets, scenes from the larger whole, just part of a script.
Besides, some of the most successful people, be it at marriage or work or whatever their opus, have had the most remarkable failures. They fail over and over again at all sorts of things. But they don’t curl up and die. They don’t stop living. They don’t stop trying to find meaning in their lives. They don’t stop searching for the right path. They go on. They persevere to the next thing. And in the end, they find their triumphs made so much sweeter by the knowledge that they earned it through failing, and failing and failing again. But they never let the failure have the last word. They comeback. They keep trying to they hit the right thing.
Nothing wrong with failing at your marriage, sport. For that matter being a failure can be a good thing. Everything wrong with letting a divorce be a defining thing in your life. This might be tough to hear but I say, don’t be a big wuss. Like me. Go out there and love again and try again and get married again. Do it till you get it right.