Bonjour toute le monde! 🙂
I’m up. It’s early. Maybe 6:00 a.m. or so. I woke up to the sound of Oh Holy Night on my radio (I sleep with my radio on, but really low) and I tumbled out of bed because I wanted to write. About love. First of all, I LOVE this time of year! It’s my favorite. October – December is my absolute favorite.
So, I’m kinda giddy these days, grinning from ear to ear in spite of all the horrors going on behind the scenes….
Um…let’s see…but I woke up thinking of “love” and of Demi Moore and her divorce from Ashton Kutcher. And I think the issue is about love. You see, in a relationship, in a marriage, love is the key. Love is the golden key. But see, it’s tricky. Love is not equal. In a successful marriage, love is not equal. I am going to say something that is very controversial. People will get angry. But in a marriage between a man and a woman? The man has to love the woman more than the woman loves the man. That is what lasts. When he loves more. Now, call me a sexist. That’s fine. But I don’t make the rules. So don’t shoot the messenger. It just is what it is. Men stick around for the long haul when they love the woman more than when the woman loves them more. I don’t know why this is. But my grandmother always told me, “if you ever get married, marry the man who loves you, not the man that you love.” And so I never married because I am always the one who loves. And the thing with loving is it puts you in a weaker position. You have less bargaining power. You have to put up with more. You are vulnerable because, by nature, men are restless. They want more. One woman is hardly ever enough. For any man. And so the thing that binds then and holds them, and basically traps them, is love. When they love, not when the woman loves. Their love for that woman is what keeps their natural inclinations in check.
Ashton Kutcher did not love Demi Moore in this way. She loved him. Oh, he cared for his wife. And there was lust and infatuation too. He did not hate her. But the kind of love I am talking about, where the man loves the woman more than the woman loves the man? He didn’t have it. If he did, it wouldn’t have mattered about the age difference, or the tooth, or any of that crap. He’d just be “trapped” in that relationship because he loved his wife. In Tinsley Town, you don’t see a lot of examples like this. I would say that Will Smith loves Jada more than she loves him. That’s a solid marriage and I would be surprised, SHOCKED, by a divorce. I mean, it’s not like it is absolutely impossible for such marriages where the woman loves more to work. Hillary Clinton loves Bill a bit more than he loves her. Yet that works. Bill Cosby loves his wife Camille more than she loves him…
I could go on with my lists. But I know I am right about this. A successful marriage comes down to who loves who more. Those relationships where the man loves his wife a little bit more than she loves him are more likely to go the distance than when it is the woman who is so in love with the man, and desperately trying to hang on to him. The DNA of men just makes them find the latter pathetic and tedious after a while. They just want to bolt. And the former, a challenge who they will do anything to please, and to keep and to have and to hold till death do them part…….
Ok. Gotta run. I’m listening to “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire…” I just LOVE Christmas, don’t you??? 🙂
Picture credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/titlap/3787618739/sizes/m/in/photostream/
Bonjour toute le monde! 🙂