Is the marriage you have chosen ruining your quality of life? If so, get a divorce!

If your marriage is ruining your quality of life, it’s okay to consider getting a divorce
A month after you made the New Years Resolution to improve your life in 2011, are you still feeling this nagging feeling in the pit of your gut that your marriage is just the wrong one for you? I was just listening to John Tesh on his radio program just now and he’s talking about making changes and how we have the life we choose and all that; and I thought, that’s so true. We also have  the marriages we choose (and conversely we don’t have the marriages we refused).
Marriage should improve the quality of your life. I know the vows say for better or worse; and if you are one of people who read this blog on a somewhat regular basis (without leaving comments!) you know I’ve said I am anti-divorce on numerous occasions; and I am. I don’t believe in it except in some fairly narrowly tailored exceptions that I’ve enumerated (they include physical abuses of me or my children and other goodies). But I also don’t believe in this thing about marriage being “for worse.” I know myself too well. I would never be able to abide that life of sitting back in a marriage and staying in it even though it killed my spirit and ruined my quality of life.
I would never hold anyone guilty for leaving a marriage that ruined their quality of life. But it has to be grave. It can’t just be some trivial thing. Trivial, of course, is relative. What is trivial for me may be deadly serious to someone else.
All I really know is that if your marriage is ruining your quality of life, I think a divorce is well within your right to choose. Cause you know what? Life is short. It really, really is. I think that anything that takes away a person’s quality of life should be removed, like, immediately. How do I square that with my anti-divorce stance? I don’t know. I don’t want to be a hypocrite. You know? I want to be honest and real and open. And I frankly don’t know how to reconcile both points of view. I am anti-divorce. But I am also anti staying in a marriage, just because you readily and knowingly chose it, if, in the end, it is ruining your quality of life. In a situation like that, I think divorce may be the ultimate solution. At least, for myself, I think it would be. I’d just pack up all my shizzo, and I’d be out of there so fast his head would spin. Hahahahahahahaha 🙂 (sometimes I just absolutely crack myself up.)
No, but I’m very, very serious. Like, you have no idea.
Originally published February 10, 2011