Take your divorce in small bites – and you'll get through it much better

Nothing like taking a problem, like divorce, in small bites. It is amazing how manageable everything becomes — even the biggest most horrific problems like ending a marriage — when you tackle it in small chunks.
I know this because I’m sitting here listening to some John Coltrane and realizing, omg, I’ve really made a huge dent in a mountain of problems I’ve been dealing with! And I did it by consciously deciding to tackle it in small chunks. Focus on one thing at a time. Block everything else out. Except the chunk I am dealing with. Never lose sight of the big picture, of course. But take it chunk by chunk. Bite by bite. Next thing you know, you come up for air and you realize you eliminated a huge portion of the problem….(well, I prayed a lot too. It might have been the prayers, who knows? But it’s quite amazing how much I’ve been able to get through by cutting things down to bite sized bits. It’s like, miraculous.)
Divorce, I think, can be a huge chunk of a problem for a lot of folks. It’s a total life change, a total life overhaul. There are all these things to take care of, the kids, the house, the in laws, the car, the mistress, the teenaged pool boy, the bank accounts, the emotions, the betrayals, the combative lawyers, the judge, the custody evaluators, all sorts of things. It’s a real mess. A big one. And it is easy to get overwhelmed. And it’s not like divorce is like other problems in the sense that sometimes you just cannot focus on just one thing at a time. You have to multi-task because a lot of shizzo hits the fan at once. But I do believe that while it may not be easy to focus on just one thing all the time in your divorce, you can find a way to focus on only so much at any given time. That’s your small bites I’m talking about. I mean, you deal with the kids and the custody before you worry about the fact that the mistress is already living in the former marital home before the first court appearance has even happened! (Whatever you do, don’t hire a hit man, please). Take it bite by bite. Chunk by chunk. It is absolutely amazing how much you get done, and how quickly and efficiently you get it done when you do that. It takes planning, of course. And strategizing. But once you sit down and you say, “okay I”m going to do this today and this next week….” and you stick to that, it somehow works. It is very efficient. I think.