CLARITY: GETTING TO THE "DECISION" TO DIVORCE CAN BE HARD

Wondering whether divorce is the right option for you? Struggling with the decision? Want clarity but it is illusive? It’s hard not knowing the answer. It’s hard not being clear on exactly which direction you want to go. There is nothing like achieving clarity. I know. I’ve been struggling for some time to get clarity on some really important issues. Then tonight, it came to me in an epiphany exactly how I want to deal with stuff. It wasn’t dramatic. It was simple. Easy. I just got the answer. But it took months of thinking, months of debating, months of second-guessing, months of asking myself all the “ifs” “ands” and “buts.”
I think people going through a rough patch in their marriage would naturally find it difficult to make the final decision to divorce. Clarity with that situation is not going to come overnight. It could take years! The only advice I can give you is that you should look within yourself for the answer. One of the mistakes I made in the last few months is looking outside myself for the answer; seeking “clarity” from others, from their words, actions, omissions, etc. But ultimately, the answer comes from within. That is where your true desires are, within you. Whether you want to stay married or would like to seek a divorce is within you. The reasons, explanations, rationalizations, justifications are within you.
You should write about it. Write down your thoughts, write down your feelings, everything. I find that journaling gets me clarity everytime. I just write and write till the truth comes out of the pen. Sometimes, it is jumbled up in other gook. But it’s always there on the page. In black and white.
Perfect clarity is a wonderful thing. It’s a wonderful state to be in. I am so clear tonight, I feel beautiful. I feel light. I feel happy. I can exhale. I hope you find your own clarity. But do me a favor: if indeed you are going to ask for a divorce, can you wait till after the holidays? There’s no need to use your clarity as a mechanism to make everybody’s Christmas miserable. Is there?