Lingerie to save your marriage
Well, this should be fun! I am about to dispense advice on a subject I know absolutely nothing about. LOL. That’s always so much fun! All of a sudden, I’m not only a marriage expert, I’m about to tell you what lingerie to buy to so totally blow your husband’s mind, that he will rescind the decision to divorce you and take you on a second honeymoon instead. Giggle, giggle. If only it were so simple, huh? My experience is that once a marriage gets to the point of no return, the very last thing that will have any impact is underwear or lingerie. The sex is the first to go, they say, isn’t it? Lingerie will not fix a broken marriage on its own, I don’t think. But here’s the thing: I believe in micro approaches to problem solving rather than macro, big picture thinking when you are going through marriage troubles. Maybe the lingerie on its own won’t fix what ails the marriage, but I bet you that if you fix that little thing, and then another little thing, and then another, that step by step you will find that the totality of the circumstances, that the cumulative net effect is that it could lead to a rethink of the divorce decision. (Oh, btw, case you’re wondering, these red tie-bows are from Agent Provocateur.)
Now. Just as a disclaimer, I know nothing about what men actually like in the lingerie department, or any department for that matter. I am still trying to figure them out, quite frankly. On top of that, I don’t know squat about lingerie and what constitutes a sexy lingerie to most people. I don’t have any such thing in my closet. I am queen of the tattered grannie panties, personally. If it doesn’t hit my rib cage just so, and covers just about EVERYTHING, I don’t tend to like to wear it. But girls, I’m single. I can wear whatever the heck I want. Married women mistakenly think that “ok, I bagged him, so I can relax.” Meanwhile, he’s having fantasies about the Agent Provocateur wearing model wannabes in the cubicle next to him at work. And their underwear is often peaking out from their delectable little camisoles as they bend over to pick up the pen or whatever it is that she just deliberately dropped to the floor!
So you know what? Married women need to be fluent in the language of lingerie. Men, I have been told, appreciate lingerie. Not to totally generalize. There ARE men out there who are not into all that contrived nonsense, and quite frankly, the only underwear they are interested in? Is the one you are NOT wearing.
But, for the most part, I don’t think it can hurt to spice things up a bit if you’re used to your Fruit of the Looms and Hanes that you usually buy at the CVS. And look: These things are expensive. The average pair of panties at Agent Provocateur is about $150. A Kimino? Close to $1000. So it is not for the faint of heart. Or the poor.
Although, you don’t have to buy a whole wardrobe of little delicate pieces of silk and satin and lace. A couple of pieces is probably all you need…. 🙂
So I went over to Agent Provocateur, Victoria’s Secret and La Perla and picked up the following pieces…. If these are not hard core enough, please feel free to check out the websites yourself and pick out what you think your husband would like and go to town, shaking that thing, girl. When you are done with that boy, he shouldn’t even know where the heck he’s at never mind think he wants a divorce?! Is he out of his mind?
The Agent Provocateur Kimino
I like this one because it is not desperate. I mean, you’re not begging him not to leave you, you’re just reminding him what he’ll be missing after he leaves. This will set you back like $900 bucks. Just matter of factly put it on and just lounge around and nonchalantly see what he does.
I personally prefer the stuff at Victorias Secret only because they are more playful and less, how shall I say? Slutty? I don’t know. I liked them better and they are more colorful not so black/white, but fruity colors that are young and fun and playful and the fabrics seems softer and more pliable, thus more comfortable than the typical nylon/satin/whatever you get at the other places. I mean, check out these cute little knickers. Almost any girl/woman can rock these and make a major statement without coming off as desperate or whorish
Next, the La Perla panty set. These are nice. I think. Because they are simple and there is a sense of innocence about them as well. Men marry the Madonna, don’t they. They are not looking for a harlot. I don’t think. If the marriage is on the rocks, I think you have to almost go back
to the beginning and redo the dance, you know? So whereas you may be tempted to give him all this, you know, risque stuff, he may just need to be reminded of the innocent side of you that is uncorrupted and unadulterated and these are cute in that way, I think. I mean, you’re not going to go all Virgin Mary on the poor guy; but these are nice. And expensive. He will notice.
Up next is another Agent Provocateur piece. This is more sexy and daring and in his face than some women would be comfortable with, probably. You wear these when you have been doing the granny panties bit and he’s pretty much forgotten that you’re a sexy kitten in your own right. He’ll do a double take, maybe even think you’ve gone a bit nuts if you go overboard, so you have to really figure out ahead of time if he’s the type of guy who could deal with a get up like this — not all of them can. Garter belts and thigh high stockings can make you look like Heidi Fleiss pretty quick so be careful. Some men are puritanical and you don’t want to push him over the edge by bringing out the inner harlot at the wrong time. Ya know?
Next up, another Victoria’s Secret colorful set. Aren’t these adorable? He might think so too, and change his mind. Bright colors are always fun and will get his attention, I think more than the usual black or white. And for darker girls, I think it’s better to wear vibrant colors rather than black in the boudoir. Just my opinion…
Okay, next, I found these very sophisticated black Agent Provocateur knickers. They are not for everyone and some men may not even notice these but others could do a double take on it. It’s pricey but quite cute, eh?
I think they run about $170 bucks if I”m not mistaken, on the Agent Provocateur website.
Okay. That’s it for this shopping spree. OMG, I gotta go. Jesus. I have ten million important things to do and I’m sitting here doing this and nobody even reads this damn thing….listen, just in case you’re one of my ten regulars and this matters, check out the websites at: www.victoriassecret.com, www.agentprovocateur.com and www.laperla.com
And look, even if he’s not impressed, these exquisite pieces are bound to make you feel better than the usually tattered grannies you usually wear. And who knows? Maybe the next guy will whimper like a little puppy dog when he sees you in these, wink, wink. 🙂