Oh gosh. Here I go again…. Procrastinating….can’t cope with all the responsibilities….too much… So it means I will be blogging an awful lot. Now I want to talk about narssicism. I doubt strongly that I spelled that word correctly…But I thought of this post because just this morning my friend Deb accused me of being a narssicist. And why? Because I love to re-read my own blog, and I crack up at my own jokes. I enjoy my writing and so she says I’m “narssicistic.” Sheesh, I”m spelling this word wrong. I know it. My dyslexia is coming through…how does one spell this word?????????
Anyway, I think, however this word is spelled, that it could spell disaster for a relationship when someone is too into themselves and they are selfish. I think it’s important to love oneself, don’t get me wrong. I tell myself “I love you” all the time. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. You have to be kind to yourself before you can be kind to anyone else. You have to accept yourself before you can accept anyone else. And loving oneself can actually be tough. As often as I say, “I love you, Jeannie” I also so, “I hate myself!” Or “I hate my life!” So that’s why I take the time, when I am cognizant, to tell my little soul, that person I am inside, that indeed, I do love her. Very much. And that she is okay. And she is worthy. And that she is going to be just fine.
Is that selfishness? Is it selfishness to love oneself? To like oneself? To actually find oneself absolutely hysterical? To enjoy reading one’s own blog?
I don’t think so. Not in and of itself. But I think it can become a big problem taken to the extreme. And in a relationship, if one’s love of self gets in the way of loving others, of being present, of having the time to give someone else your attention, of taking the time to give of oneself, I think that is the problem. That is narcissistic. Sheesh. Can’t spell that word! It still looks wrong!
But you get my drift, right? It can’t all be about, “what have you done for me lately???” Sometimes it has to be, “what have I done for you lately? Have I told you that I love you? Have I told you that you make me laugh till it hurts? Have I given you a big, warm embrace?”
You know? Stuff like that.
UPDATE: I’m sitting here in a Starbucks in Houston and a woman named “B” and I struck up a converstion, and she happened to be reading this book because she is trying to deal with a narcissistic husband: Enough About You, Let’s Talk About Me: How to Recognize & Manage the Narcissists in Your Life by Dr. Les Carter
Have you read this book?