Why does a child’s premature death often end in divorce for the parents?
It escapes me where I read that a child’s premature death often means that the parents wind up divorced, but I did read that recently, and it was from a reputable source. At the time, I wondered why that might be? Why does a child’s death stress a marriage to its demise? I still don’t know because I’ve never had that experience. And there are some thing in life that I think you have to experience in order to know what you’re talking about. Other things, not so much. I mean, you know that if you put your hand in fire it will hurt. You don’t have to actually put your hand in fire. But in the case of why a child’s death causes a marriage between the parents of the child to disintegrate? I think you have to personally experience that.
I mean, I can speculate. But I come up blank when I try. I’m literally scratching my head between taps on the keyboard. Why does this happen?….Is it because one parent thinks its the other parent’s fault whether that is reasonable or unreasonable? Maybe one parent blames the other parent. Maybe one parent thinks the other parent didn’t grieve enough, wasn’t emotionally re-arranged enough by the death? Maybe one parent feels the other is not “supportive?” Maybe one parent feels the other is grieving too much and is a bottomless well of darkness and depression that just suffocates and overwhelms? Maybe the marriage just feels like bad luck? Maybe a depression just sets in to one or both and they can’t communicate anymore, they just shut down? Maybe infidelity happens during the whole ordeal because one parent — usually the father — can’t cope with all the horror so he seeks solace in the arms of another woman who “has no problems?” (Men are not that great with handling these types of problems, you know. Indeed, research has shown that even where a woman gets ill, she increases her odds that her husband will leave her. This is especially true for cancer patients.)
I mean, I don’t know why this happens. But I know it is said to happen. That when a child dies, it wrecks the marriage of the parents. And that adds sadness on top of sadness, wouldn’t you say? I mean, what do you think the reason for this is?