Madonna's "Now That I'm Divorced" lessons

Now that she’s divorced, Madonna has learned a thing or two, at least, that’s what it seems like following an interview she did with ABC’s Cynthia McFadden recently. The biggest lesson seems to be that she doesn’t like to be alone. She prefers a partner, she prefers to have someone there to help her “make decisions.” Both her ex husbands , Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie, seem like they were particularly “decisive” types of guys.  Don’t they? So she misses that. But what does she do? She goes out and hooks up with a bunch of adolescent boys like Jesus Luz and this new guy, whatever his name is. Something obscure. Can’t remember. But these kids are, like, 24, the age of her daughter Lourdes’ peers. They should be dating Lourdes!
I don’t mean to be ageist. Lord knows I’m not. But I don’t think it’s appropriate for a 50 something year old woman (with a teenaged daughter!) to be dating men in their early twenties. It just seems wrong.
Anyhoo, what else has Madonna learned? Well, she’s learned that may Lady Gaga has ripped off one of her songs…
She’s learned that she’s “just like everybody else” in that she likes to get foot rubs from her man at the end of a tough day and so “behind the curtain” she’s like everyone else…although I’m not so sure about that…
Mostly, I think what she’s learned is that she doesn’t like to be alone. Which is fine. I just wish she would choose more age-apprpriate men. It’ s not that I think she should date a 70 year old. They can be immature too, believe it or not. Just because a man is “old” doesn’t mean he’s anymore mature than a  24 year old. But she can date men in their 40’s who are still virile and youthful but who possess a semblance of maturity and appropriateness — especially for the mother of a teenage daughter. And that’s a part of the calculus too. The kids. If a woman does not have kids, she’s a different animal to a woman who has kids. She may get a little bit more leeway in this scenario because she doesn’t have children at home who are going to be affected by her “decisions.” I mean, if Jennifer Aniston dates a 24 year old, it’s different because she has no teenaged daughters. But Madonna and Demi and J.Lo and their milieu? They look stoopid. I’m sorry. But no! 
Why the double standard? I don’t know…It just is.
If a man was dating a woman 30 years his junior would I talk about it? I think so. Thirty years is jumping the shark — even for a man. I can give a man up to 20 years. That’s when men typically start to mature and to be men. We mature faster, we women. Men take a little long. 20 years. After that, it’s just too much of a gap.  And this is just MY opinion, alright? I’m not asking anyone to agree with me. I think that if a woman is dating a man 20 years her junior it’s too much. Plus, she’s setting herself up, I think. He’s going to dump her at her most vulnerable, when she’s old and scared of him dumping her; when she’s old and nobody else wants her; when she’s old and has wasted her prime years on him. 
Madonna is more than 30 years older than these guys she’s parading around town with. It’s unbecoming. It’s ghastly. It’s actually a little bit gross. I’m sorry. But it is. It really is. I don’t admire that. And this is not “jealousy.” I am lucky that I look much younger than I am. Younger men check me out and think I’m their age. Like men in their twenties think I’m 27 or 28. I could totally go there. But I don’t. I just think its inappropriate… And I’m over a decade younger than Madonna. But no. I think it’s also a question of self-respect. One must respect oneself. It is godly to respect oneself in this context.
I think if a woman is old enough to give birth to a man that she shouldn’t even think about dating him never mind have sexual relations with him. So I think the cut off is about 12 years. A woman can go up to 12 years older and take her chances. After that, she looks ridiculous and she’s setting herself up for getting dumped when she’s most vulnerable.
That is where I think the difference may lie in men and women. Men get a little bit more leeway (not much, but a little) in how young they can go because they can’t physically give birth to these young women they go after and they take longer to mature than women. Not that some of them are not gross, anyways. They are. But there is something special, sacred and un-ignorable about this birth process. Women have a special role in nature because of our ability to give birth to life, to deliver life. It matters. Somehow it matters. We are held to a different standard, I think. (To whom much is given, much is expected…?)
I mean, it’s not that a man can just date any woman. I think for me the test for men is if they can be the grandfather. Then it’s nasty. That’s ew. If he is old enough to be the grandfather of the woman he’s with, he’s a nasty sob to be involved with her. If a woman is old enough to be the mother of a man she is with, she’s  a nasty sob to be involved with him.
Ok. I think that’s it. That’s what I think the test is….Madonna didn’t learn that in her divorce though — the appropriate age cut off. I wish she had. And no offense to her. But I’m just saying… it’s kinda nasty. Sorry Madonna. No offense. But….ew.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/shankbone/2601180182/sizes/m/in/photostream/