Alcoholism and Divorce

I regret to inform you that I had a huge heaping of Pork and Beans for dinner tonight, so forgive me if you are being tormented by the fumes I have been emitting in rapid succession….
With regard to the topic of Alcoholism and Divorce I shall say that I don’t know the statistics but I am fully aware that indeed these two universes do collide rather frequently. Alcoholics, shockingly enough, don’t seem to make great spouses. I wonder why? As I was standing at the bus stop waiting for my bus this evening (I had to do some grocery shopping to fill my new refrigerator in my new apartment) a man struck up a conversation with me. I learned a lot about him in a very short span of time, namely his age, his provenance and the fact that he’s been married and divorced twice all because of his drinking problems. “How much did you used to drink?” I asked, my brain already clicking with an idea for a new post on Divorce Saloon. “A lot,” he deadpanned. “I started at six and continued till I went to bed.” He explained he had been a heavy drinker since he was 13 and his father died. He had his own business but he drank his way through the day, and he chewed gum so that folks wouldn’t be able to smell the alcohol on his breath. He made about $150 a day as a handyman but most of that got drunk because he would drink a six pack before work, he would drink at lunch time, and after work he would drink again. So he routinely went througth 3 six packs or more per day.
So he lost two wives because of this. Because at one point one of his wives accused him of liking to drink more than he liked her. He said it got so bad he didn’t care if he paid the rent; he preferred the high he got from drinking. And, of course, his wives got fed up and left him.
He is lucky in that he went to r ehab and as of today, he tells me he hasn’t touched a drink in more than a month. He said the thought of drinking like that just made him feel sick and nauseous. And he now disdains women who drink. He had a girlfriend who would throw pack beers while she cooked him dinner and it turned him off. He didn’t like to smell the alcohol on her. It was nasty, he said.
He’s been going to AA and he’s really thankful to be alive because he came close to dying twice with cirhisis of the liver (wrong spelling, sorry) and hands that wouldn’t stop shaking and a bunch of physical ailments that came from his drinking. I listened and tried not to judge. People have problems and addictions. For himself, I am glad he sought help. But as a husband, he must have really sucked. You know? I couldn’t help thinking that, even though I was careful not to judge. But I just kept thinking, “ew, what would it be like to be married to a man who drank 18 beers 24 hours, 365 days a year? That must be a special type of hell.”  That’s a curse. It really is. Not so much for him, but for the woman who had to endure that.
As I said, I’m glad he sought help and I hope he stays sober. But this is a deal breaker for Jeannie. This is one of the clear reasons why divorce laws and the ability to obtain a legal divorce is so important. I mean, seriously.