Jealousy

It is one of the deadly sins. Jealousy. What is the root cause of it? I’ve always wondered.  What is the cause of it? How can people be less insecure, less territorial, less fearful. For I think that is what is at the root of the tendency to be “jealous” in relationships: that people are fearful, insecure and territorial. Among other things. All of it negative. None of it conducive to a healthy relationship, in the least.
But is it the same for everyone? I don’t know. I cannot speak for everyone. But I do know that this thing, jealousy, is a terrible emotion. Absolutely terrible. It leads to serious acts of depravity in some people. It can lead to death.  Look at OJ.  Why did he go so far? As to kill because of his sense of jealousy?
It’s also possessiveness, isn’t it? People like OJ feel like their spouse belongs to them and they can’t handle the thought of their spouse with someone else. But there are other elements of it. In some cases I think jealousy has to do with thinking you are somehow better than your spouse. So how dare your spouse like someone else when you were doing him or her a favor in the first place, by bestowing them with your love. Do you know who I am? This is what this type of jealousy does, I think. It begs the misbehaving spouse to answer, “do you know who I am?” I think that is the type of jealousy that is based on a sense of entitlement and superiority that often can lead to murder and other criminal behavior. Because it is based on extreme pridefulness. It is ungodly. Now his mansion is Florida is getting foreclosed on. He’s officially lost EVERYTHING. That’s what jealousy does. It takes everything if you don’t learn to control it.
But there is the other type that is based on feeling inferior and feeling like you’re not good enough; you don’t measure up. And being envious of others and what they appear to possess that you don’t. This kind of jealousy can also lead to destructive behaviors as well. Taken to the extreme, maybe it could indeed lead to murder, who knows?
Most people, if they are honest, will admit that they have felt jealous of something or someone at some point in their lives. Not all jealousy rises to that level of criminality, obviously. Most of us can control ourselves. I mean, maybe we scream a little bit, throw some clothes out the window, empty all his cologne in the septic and flush. But we are not going to go  completely berserk. We are not OJ.
But it is an interesting topic to me, this issue of jealousy. As horrible as this emotion is, there are many couples who remain married in spite of this element. But others who don’t make it because they can’t handle the level of vitriol that comes from that emotion in their marriages. What is the solution? Well, I think the other person is culpable to some extent a lot of the times. Don’t tell me an individual can’t contribute to pushing these buttons. An extremely flirtatious person, for example, can help the situation by not being such a flirt when they are aware that it makes their spouse nuts. It’s disrespectful. And some people like to push those buttons because they like to see their spouse go nuts. It makes them, sickly, feel more in control of their spouse, and sometimes even more “loved.”
But this, in itself, is inappropriate. Spouses should not push the buttons of their other halves just to make them jealous. It really is a two way street a lot of times. I mean, dont’ get me wrong: some jealous spouses are paranoid. Totally. They imagine stuff. And so no matter what the other one does, they will get jealous anyways. That is their issue they need to work on. But other times, the jealous spouse is being manipulated by the other spouse. And this is where the rub is. This is where marriages start to disintegrate. This is where some really serious shizzo can, and often does, go down.
Something to think about….