The kids or the spouse: On What to do when your new spouse and kids don’t get along
So, your new spouse and kids don’t get along. You had fought valiantly to win custody of your children, and you succeeded. They live with you and things were great but then, as is apt to happen, you meet someone new and before you know it, are walking down the aisle again. You have a new spouse.
The last thing you factored into your game is what you would do if the new spouse and kids don’t get along. And guess what? They don’t. So what you are supposed to do now?
It’s not as if you can just ship the kids off to your ex. You don’t want to, and frankly, your ex has moved on, and fulltime custody of the kids is slightly inconvenient for them too. No problem. You love your kids and it hasn’t even entered your mind to divest yourself of their fulltime care. Yet.
Till, one day, you realize that your new spouse and your kids go together like water and oil. The new domestic situation is a mess. Constant bickering, fighting, crying, threatening, screaming…everybody is angry, no one is happy: not you, the new spouse or the kids. Your ex is threatening to take them, but everybody knows that it would be the worse thing for them to be with your ex – for one reason or the next. On the other hand, your current is so unhinged by them, you’re afraid he/she could even get violent.
What do you do? Darned if I know. I’m thinking you may have to unload the spouse. I mean, seriously. You deserve to be happy, bien sûr. But you’re not. Neither is anyone in your family. But the thing is, spouses will come and they will go. Your children will always be your children. If it is causing that much conflict that you’re contemplating what to do with your own children? You have to get rid of the spouse. Your children should ALWAYS come first, no matter what. That is my feeling on the subject. I mean, you deserve an adult relationship, of course. The children will grow up one day and leave. Where will you be? What will you have when you send your spouse packing on the children’s account? Yes, I understand the dilemma. But you know what? Today? Your children are under your care. You are responsible for them and to them. They did not have a choice in being here. And you have to sacrifice your happiness for them. When they are out of the house, at 18, you can get another spouse. But before then, if the spouse and the kids are not meshing and y0u have to pick, definitely it’s gotta be your kids….I mean, what’s the alternative? You’re going to drop them off at the nearest H.E.B. so you can be with this person? Are you out of your mind??