10 Ways to Screw up Your Custody: Are you Sabotaging and Hurting your Own Case?
Are you one of those parents who screw up your custody advantage by doing stupid stuff? Huffpost has this list of celebrities who have had the messiest custody battles in history. The list includes Usher and Tameka, Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry,
Kelsey Grammar and Camille GrammarBritney Spears and Kevin Federline and a whole bunch of other people.
It was a list of about ten or twelve Hollywood exes and you should check it out if you’re interested.
The slideshow (it was a slideshow not a list) got me to thinking about this blog post. It seems that some people – not necessarily anyone on the list above but people in general who get divorced — are very good at screwing up a good thing. They don’t know when to quit when dealing with courts and when fighting over custody. This can be a very serious mistake: not knowing when to quit. Especially for celebs where the stakes often seem so high. So what are the ten ways that a person, celeb or not, can screw up their custody?
1. Not knowing when to quit haggling and fighting and throwing their weight around — with everyone, including the court.
2. Pushing the kids away with unreasonable behavior – including aggressive and negative attitude towards your ex.
3. Getting angry in a destructive way — especially towards the kids.
4. Annoying your spouse by flaunting a new affair.
5. Making repeated trips back to court in front of the same judge — but asking for more and more petty remedies while you’re there– and basically pissing off the judge with your petty unreasonableness.
6. Annoying your attorney with your bad, stinking attitude and having your attorney become indifferent to the outcome of your case.
7. Abusing, neglecting or endangering the kids while in your custody (or god forbid having one of them die on your watch)
8. Losing your job or house or other items that mitigate against the “stability” and “security” and “best interest” of the kids.
9. Getting involved with nefarious and dangerous characters or activities that put the kids in harm’s way or exposing the kids to anything less than “wholesomeness.”
10. Not keeping up with the children’s education (like, not sending them to school regularly and having the school call Child Protective Services) and with their hygiene and with their overall care and letting anyone find out about it.
These are just ten ways off the top of my head that you could screw up your custody. There are many other ways to screw up your custody. And it doesn’t have to be that way. Take actress Halle Berry for instance. She is pushing it and she doesn’t even know it. She is on thin ice with this demand to “relocate” the child to France. Sure, it would be convenient because her future husband lives here. But how stable is that relationship when considering her past track record with men? Why should she expect a court to just roll over and give her the right to uproot that child and take her away from a “loving” father when that relationship in France could be over in under two years and then, where will she want to move to next? Sure, she may get her wish. But she is also pushing it and she may lose custody of that girl if she continues to push it like that. Halle, I am warning you again (if you don’t want to screw up your custody): KNOW WHEN TO QUIT.
Other parents do other crazy things that screw up their custody. Parents need to be more measured and smarter in their custody battles. Especially mothers who assume that the courts will just roll over and give them custody. There is no presumption of maternal custody anymore. This post we did about “Father’s Rights” is a real serious issue when it comes to women in particular who are finding that they are losing custody to their ex husbands. But the rules are for both mothers and fathers who have custody and want to hang on to either joint custody or sole custody of the kids. Don’t screw up by doing any of the above, or anything else that is untoward that essentially will make the judge or trier of fact, balk. Cause then, you’re done. You lose.
More on divorce screw ups