Finding power and vitality after divorce

Divorce has got to be one of the most energy-sapping expériences of a person’s life. This is true even if they are the ones that asked for the divorce; and even if the divorce is the best thing that could have happened to the marriage. Nobody thinks divorce is synonymous with “success.” Divorce is not success. It is a type of failure and we all would prefer  to keep failures at bay to the grandest possible extent that we can.
But failure can be a good thing. Because it tells us something about ourselves and what we are good at and what we need to work on and even what we didn’t need in the first place – what we can do without.
Indeed, failure can be the most powerful thing that happens to you. Because it makes you stop and take stock of the status quo. It makes you rethink and reevaluate your priorities and the direction you are taking. It also forces you to examine other options and to make new choices and try different paths. This can be an incredible opportunity for personal growth and actualization!
Think about how challenged you will be in dealing with your ex if you have children together? Do you think little kids can handle that experience? Or do you realize that dealing with and handling this situation with dignity and maturity will require a true adult? And who do you think has the power (or will need to find the power) to successfully navigate this in the interest of those little kids?
Divorce requires survivors (yes, divorced people are survivors because consider the alternative) to be strong. But nobody is thinking about their inner vitality at a time like this. They are just feeling sad and morose and probably beaten down. They blame themselves and their spouse and others for the demise of the marriage. They are angry. And what saps vitality quicker than anger? They may feel tremendous fear and dread for the lonely years ahead, the financial hardships and even the social alienation.
But this does not have to be. A person’s vitality is their own job (whether they are recovering from divorce or not) and it is based on their own decision to be a vital, strong, capable and resilient human being. YOU HAVE THE POWER within you. It really isn’t such a hard job. It really is a question of making a decision to bounce back better and stronger from an experience. And to most of all, learn from it and also to enjoy the new freedom you have been gifted.