Women, Marriage, Property, DIVORCE: Why its important to acquire your own separate assets while married, in contemplation of divorce

Filed in Divorce advice/divorce strategies for women
Women should acquire their own SEPARATE assets while married, in contemplation of divorce

A lot of divorce murders happen because couples are fighting over property. Women, especially, are the obvious victims and they are killed by husbands who clearly believe that they do not have a legal, moral or equitable right to share the marital property after a divorce, because, typically, the husband is the one who physically earned the lion’s share of these assets during the marriage. A lot of men feel that when they divorce, they should keep all their earnings and property and the wife should skip along without any of it since she didn’t physically earn it.

Women celebrating in Harlem

And you know what? It doesn’t really matter if this is fair or unfair. The fact is, women are getting murdered by angry husbands, more and more, and these men typically murder their wives when there is a fight over property ownership.
One solution to this problem, is for more women to actively seek to earn, acquire and retain ownership of, their own property during marriage — just in case they end up getting a divorce and their husband is reluctant to “share” the marital res.
Mama may have, papa may have, dear husband may have. But blessed is the wife, woman, child, who has her own.
Now, obviously, before getting married, execute prenuptial agreements that clearly delineate what is separate property. If you physically earned it or bought it with your earned income, it’s yours. That kind of thing. The prenup must be airtight.
If you are already married, it’s never too late to get a post-nup.
Once married, do not commingle assets and property so that if you get divorced, it is unclear who actually owns the title to the property. NEVER COMMINGLE SEPARATE ASSETS WITH MARITAL ASSETS.
And frankly, the less “marital assets” a couple has, the less the likelihood there will be murderous disagreements if they divorce. I think couples today should aim to have zero marital assets. He or she who earns it or bought it, keeps it if they divorce.
That is going to mean that more women need to get more assertive about property ownership and acquiring their own stuff. Women need to continue working after they get married, save their money, manage their money, and invest their money wisely in real estate and other assets that are theirs and theirs alone. Men too, but men are already pretty good at this. They don’t need my advice on this. And they are the ones who are most likely to murder their wives (OVER PROPERTY!) if there is a divorce.
So this post is really for the women out there who think they get married and then they no longer have to work or look out for themselves and that they totally depend on their husbands for their economic survival. Less and less men today want that burden or responsibility. What is theirs is theirs. It’s not their wives’ as many women continue to erroneously think. That is why so many men are so angry and why so many women are killed every day in this country over disputes over property when they divorce.
Women need to become more pro-active about property ownership. They need to get their own stuff separate from their husbands. They need to marry more wisely; and they need to always think about “what will happen if we divorce” and protect themselves by getting prenups up front, and by accumulating their own assets.
Now, that doesn’t mean a woman can’t still be killed. Some men will still kill their wife even if there are no property issues. It comes down to possession and control and power for some men. Or, a spouse could kill his or her spouse over “separate” assets. You can’t completely eliminate the risk of a divorce murder. But if more women made a concerted effort to have their own separate assets andĀ let their estranged husbands go on with all” his” stuff? It will reduce the number of divorce murders, for sure, if men know they can walk away from the marriage with all their stuff.
And another thing? I hate to say it but it may even be necessary to hide some of this stuff. If you have a prenup that says your stuff is separate anyway, there is no reason that your husband or wife needs to know exactly what you own, 100%. Maybe it’s not his business that you bought investment real estate in another state or country since it’s yours anyway.
I write this post and have come to this conclusion because the increasing number of divorce murders scare the pants off me. And nine out of ten times, it is the wife who is murdered by her husband. And usually, 9 out of 10 times, they are fighting over property.
Women, get your own stuff. Leave your husband alone with his stuff. And maybe, just maybe, you can get out of that situation, aka divorce, alive.http://www.flickr.com/photos/harlemhappenings/330667934/sizes/m/in/photostream/