How to manage a Divorce Journal

Should you keep a divorce journal?

Pen, Diary and GlassesWould a divorce journal work for you? Do you think it might help you heal and cope with the trauma, pain and uncertainty? This is a question Worth pondering if you are going through a divorce right now. What the experts are saying, at least some of them we queried, is that keeping a divorce journal and writing in it regularly, indeed writing down your thoughts, emotions, fears and even anger during this potentially tumultuous time in your life can be cathartic. It can help you to manage the situation as well as your emotions and keep things from running amok.  It can provide you with a sense of clarity about the various issues and problems that have led you to this “moment” in your life. Indeed a journal can help you make better decisions about your personal life and your future – post divorce; and a journal can help you to choose the right path and direction now that you have encountered a fork in the road and need to decide which way to go. In addition a divorce journal:

  • Gives you a temporary (or permanent if you prefer) record of this emotionally challenging time

  • Helps you to make important connections between various moving parts and connect necessary dots

  • Provides you with good material for your future memoirs

  • Gives you a safe space to vent

  • Gives you a safe space to come clean with your own self

  • Gives you solace where perhaps friends and family are unable to reach you

  • Helps you to let go emotionally and shed necessary tears

These are only some of the benefits of keeping a divorce journal. There are so many things you can write down in this journal including:

Your present goals

  • How to behave when you see your ex at court

  • How to behave when you see your ex with the new person at the corner bodaga

  • How to answer the judge even if you are so annoyed with the judge

  • How you are going to stop badmouthing your ex in front of the kids

  • How you are going to take the high road every time your ex tries to bait you

Your goals for the future

  • Your plans for your new look (Vengeance plastic surgery;

  • joining the gym; beginning a new diet routine…)

  • The places you want to travel to and the things you want to do now that you are single

  • How and where to meet the new Ms or Mr Right

  • How you are going to handle being a single parent journal2

What is critically important, though, is to remember to safeguard your journal so that it remains your private intellectual property, confidential, and out of the hands of impish troublemakers like your soon to be ex. Also, there are five things you should never write in your journal, no matter how cathartic it feels. They are as follows:

  • Do not write down any plans you are harboring to “harm” or extinguish your ex

  • Do not write down any plans to abduct or kidnap the children

  • Do not write down any details about marital assets you have stolen, hidden or dissipated

  • Do not write don any information on any perjurious information you provided to the court

  • Do not write down any information about how you tricked your ex into signing a prenup

  • Do not write down any information that might lead the objective person to question your mental health and stability (if there are kids involved and if you wish to gain custody of those kids)

If you follow these basic guidelines, you should be fine. And as we said, keeping a divorce journal might be just the thing that makes a positive difference in your divorce experience.

Happy journaling!

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