FOOD: Divorce & Wine: 10 wines for 10 divorce scenarios

When one thinks of wine or vin it is usually within the context of a celebration of some sort, a gathering, relaxation, love-making, togetherness and sharing. We don’t tend to associate wine with divorce. But being that we are Divorce Saloon, the same crew who promotes things like “Divorce Bread” and the “Divorce Margarita” as a way of focusing on the positive aspects of divorce, we got to wondering how we could marry wine with divorce and create an interesting article.
First of all, let’s correct this notion of divorce not being a time to celebrate. Within reason and with due deference to the emotions of all involved, we believe that like marriage, divorce is a process and an institution that ought to be celebrated for what it actually is. It is a rite of passage from one state to another. It is new-found freedom, new possibilities; a new life. Divorce presents divorcing couples the opportunity to take the high road and say, you know what, this didn’t last forever but “thank you.” Thank you for the memories and the lessons and the material for my memoirs.
This notion of the thank you can be extended to more than just one’s spouse. There are so many people involved in this journey including the judge, the attorney/solicitor/avocat, friends, new lovers, all of whom deserve some kind of “thank you.”
Divorce can also be a time of self-reflection, where, finally with some alone time and me time, you decide to enjoy, in the most responsible way possible, a glass or two of your favorite vintage.
It is with this in mind that we decided to look at ten wines that are suitable for ten different post-divorce scenarios. Won’t you join us as we raise our wine glasses in honor of your new life?
Scenario 1 – The Farewell Wine.
This is a wine suitable for the divorcing couple who are parting as friends or “consciously uncoupling” like Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.
The Wine: A Zweigelt. Steininger Novemberlese.
Why is this suitable for that scenario: Because it is rarefied and unique but also cheerful in its own way; and filled with hope for a new tomorrow
Price: $16
Wine notes: Cinnamon, Cherry, flowers
Scenario 2 – The wine to enjoy solo
This is a wine that is suitable for someone who has made the decision to divorce (or is in the process of making it right now) and is sitting in quiet contemplation just prior to actually asking for the divorce.
The wine: Gamay Noir.
Why is this suitable for this scenario: It is acidic, dark and a little bit somber. Quite appropriate for the occasion, don’t you agree?
Wine Notes: Bananas, strawberries
Scenario 3 – The wine to drink with the girls
This is the wine to drink with your girlfriends who might also be divorced or are divorcing. You enjoy this wine together as a sort of “divorced girls club.”
The wine: Pinot noir.  Mark West Pinot Noir
Why is this suitable for this scenario:  This is the perfect wine to share and drink in ample portions without losing your sense of proportion and it is not that expensive so you can buy a few bottles of it without breaking the bank.
Price: $15
Wine Notes: Cherry, Vanilla, Raspberry
Scenario 4 –  The boys’ wine
This wine is great to drink with your guy friends to celebrate your new bachelorhood
The wine: Carbenet Franc.  Chappellet (2009).
Why is this wine suitable for this scenario: Well, it’s kind of masculine. Enough said.
Price: $65
Wine Notes: Black currants, raspberry and violets
Scenario 5 – The wine to give to your divorce attorney for a job well done
This is a gift wine to give to your lawyer, avocat, solicitor, barrister to say thank you for a job well done.
The wine: Riesling. Domaine Zind Humbrecht  2011.
Why is this wine suitable for this scenario: It sounds so expensive (but it isn’t)  and so French.  It is actually a vin from the Alsace region in France. It’s great as a gift for your lawyer because of its dynamic quality; it is also kind of serious.
Price: $23
Wine Notes: Pineapple, grapefruit
Scenario 6 – The wine to serve at the divorce party
This wine is super bubbly and is great as a celebration/party wine which you should probably have after the bonfire  not before.
The wine: Sparkling. Champagne Charles de Cazanove (this wine was voted a top 10 2013 wine, by the way).
Why is this wine suitable for this scenario: It is just such a festive brew that it is perfect for  a party and is quite affordable too.
Price: $15
Wine Notes: Lime blossom, honey
Scenario 7 – The pre-trial wine
Serve this for yourself and maybe your expert witnesses and attorney prior to the trial or maybe during lunch break of the trial if things are going well. CAUTION: Do not have more than one glass since you do not want to arrive drunk at court!
The wine: Chardonnay. Mer Soleil 2010.
Why is this wine suitable for this scenario? It is a white wine and can be very crisp (can also be creamy and sweet); but the crispy one will wake you up and get you going without compromising your judgment and this is very important.
Price: $30
Wine Notes: Butter, vanilla, apples, peach, fig
Scenario 8 –  The “I found the missing assets!” wine
Serve this one to celebrate the discovery of the missing assets that will net you over $1,000,000.  You’ll obviously be ecstatic and feel totally vindicated at court and elsewhere so really enjoy this one and splurge too (maybe spring one for your lawyer or PI since you can obviously afford it.)
The wine: Champagne. Grand Siecle Les Reserves (Laurent – Perrier Champagne)
Why is this suitable for this scenario: Cause it is so full of joy and even defiance, grit and fearlessness and success.
Price: $120
Wine notes: smoke, fruits
Scenario 9 – The sarcastic wine
Send this to the third party (other man, other woman) who broke up your marriage. Why? Just to show that you are bigger and more evolved than they are and also maybe you want to say “you know what? You did me a big favor.”
The wine: Pinot Grigio. Santa Margherita.
Why is this suitable for this scenario: It is for what it says about how you feel about this person but in the classiest of ways (everybody knows that wine connoisseurs and sommeliers look down their noses at pinot grigio. They think it is an “inferior wine.” Wink, wink.)
Price: $25
Wine notes: Citrus, lemon
Scenario 10 – The Reconciliation wine
This wine is for the couple who changes their mind about the divorce and decide to reconcile after all.
The wine: Rosé. Bieler Pere et Fils Couteaux d’Aix en Provence.
Why is this suitable for this scenario: Because it is light and tender, clear, calm; yet filled with hope and abandon. The buzz it gives is melodious so afterwards, well, you figure it out from there…
Price: $11
Wine notes: Wild cherry, wild strawberry
Author’s note: Please drink responsibly