Apparently and evidently, the Paltrow-Martin marriage has officially unravelled. The couple signed and filed divorce documents a couple of days ago (Gwyneth was the plaintiff) and have kept the settlement agreement, including custody issues, private. This comes just days after a romantic holiday in Mexico where Gwyneth sported all these sexy black bikinis, as well as over one year after they announced that they were “consciously uncoupling.” Is this ridiculous, or is it just me? The whole thing is ridiculous from beginning to end: Their constant holidaying together, the bikini shots which were orchestrated to insinuate they were still having sex, the terminologies and idioms used to explain themselves, Jennifer Lawrence, their good looks when you consider that it still couldn’t save them, their public displays of affection knowing it was all fake and for the cameras only, Kate Hudson and that day at the beach in a bikini with Chris, Chris, the slant of TMZ’s reporting of the whole thing, the new man Gwyneth is supposedly seeing and the fact that his name is Brad, the fact that she has been secretly hung up on Brad Pitt all these years, announcing this on goop in the first instance, the fact that they are individually worth less than Justin Bieber…Incredibly annoying, this whole thing. Incredibly, incredibly, incredibly annoying! I can barely stand it. I am going to retire.