13 Reasons why billionaire Elon Musk probably sucks as a husband

Unlike most billionaires, Elon Musk can’t seem to stay married if his life depended on it. We have been debating this subject for some time as we try to enter into the industrialist’s mind to unveil what really makes him tick and his wives flee. These are some possible answers (at least these are some theories we came up with):
1. He’s probably obsessive compulsive about small stuff like toothpaste caps and dust mites.
2. He probably is a bit of a narcissist who literally likes to physically count his sperm or have it examined by unwitting partners as he searches for answers to age old questions like “how the heck did I get to be so fucking smart?! Shit!!!” But in the end, he really believes this stuff is the alpha and the omega.
3. He probably really likes the scent and feel of money and so he routinely dumps hundreds of thousands of dollar bills onto the bed where he physically counts each bill to make sure its all there while his wife or partner lays there speechless waiting for him to finish.
4. He probably just can’t stop thinking aloud counterfactually – especially in bed.
5. His brain obviously works on multiple tracks, contemporaneously, and this often makes him stop in the middle of a task (wink, wink) to finish another task but usually he forgets to return to mundane tasks like (wink, wink) servicing his wife.
6. He prefers fantasy to reality 100 percent of the time.
7. Quite possibly, he completely lacks rhythm.
8. He seems potentially forgetful about stuff like personal hygiene (because he is a busy guy, but still…)
9. He insanely could be hung up on first wife and mother of his children, Justine. But he doesn’t even know it and she could care less at this point so he takes it out on all the others.
10. He is not good at relenting when it counts.
11. He probably thinks women should be bred like horses.
12. He is seemingly allergic to quiet and needs more noise and chaos than any woman can handle without being on serious drugs.
13. He probably thinks the atomic and nuclear bombs were great inventions and he wishes it were he who invented them; but on the other hand he believes he’s really Harry Potter who should be traveling by flying car and that JK Rowling kidnapped his mind and that he is really a wizard; and for this reason he doesn’t really get too close to a woman – not emotionally  – and so he can’t really build true intimacy and so he gives up before he even tries instead convincing himself that money is the thing that women find most intimate and so he throws that around like it is going out of style and the women take the money and then they run and so he collapses in despair for 15 minutes but the heartbreak gives him another idea for another great invention or at least gets his creative juices flowing. He really enjoys giving and receiving heartbreaks.