Getting served with divorce papers out of the blue is without question a WTF moment.
Seriously, how could you ever be prepared for it? Sure your marriage wasn’t perfect, but whose is? And what gives the person who promised they’d love you forever the right to just quit? These and a million other questions are probably running through your mind right now.
This quote comes from this blog by Doctor Karen Finn. It could not have any better summarized the situation for many people who get served with divorce papers – especially right after the holidays, an important milestone or other noteworthy event. They literally are just blind-sided and those three letters “WTF” are really the best way to articulate how they feel.
The key is to respond with some degree of calm and proportion. This can be easier said than done when you have been taken unawares by your spouse who promised to love you till death do you part. Hit the pause button. Take some deep breaths. Say a quiet prayer for serenity and wisdom. Then call your mother. If she is not available, call the person who you trust most in the world to have a chat before you even try to talk to your spouse.
Remember that everything usually works out for the best and that every dark cloud has a silver lining.
Is the marriage really done? It may or may not be depending on the situation at hand and you have to make a determination how you will respond. You will have a lot of decisions to make and of course your head may not be at its clearest when you are taken off guard like this. But again, meditate, calm yourself, and get support from friends and family. You will get through this.