Divorce is like lotto in a way. It brings people out of the woodwork that you didn’t even know existed. It’s like misery loves company and they all want to commiserate and give you unsolicited advice. But some of these people can just take your slightly cracked life and just smash it to smithereens if you are not careful. Avoid them like the plague.
First up, Mr or Ms. Angry & vengeful. This person is just full of rage against their ex and it is all the ex’s fault that the marriage cracked up and it is the judges and the lawyers fault that they lost the case and there is all this finger pointing and the need for revenge. Hang out with this person and keep meeting up for coffee to discuss your situation and their situation and you could find yourself becoming angry and vengeful too. And this could be dangerous because then you start plotting to do crazy things and next thing you know, you are probably in jail.
Second, the over-eating, self-pitying slob. This person is going to make you fat and wrinkled with a permanent frown line in the middle of your forehead and loose thighs that rub and slap together like they are applauding at the theatre. Do not hang out with this person until you have your act together because he or she will just be a bad influence.
Next, the drinking, drugging self-pitying fool. Need anyone to explain why this person is bad news? The last thing you need to do post-divorce is take up abusing drugs and alcohol and you become like the people you hang out with. Hang out with alcoholics and you become alcoholics and then you have to join Alcoholics Anonymous which is cool if you like that kind of crowd but wouldn’t you rather belong to a whole other type of group?
Fourth, the shopaholic over-spender. Retail therapy is great but it is not a good idea to toss your alimony into the coffers of high-end department stores on a regular basis as if it is some kind of career. Spending money like a fool is not a career. And once the alimony runs out, what next? The money does not grow on trees.
Finally, avoid at all costs the people who keep trying to set you up with everything that moves as if they think that you being single for a minute is some kind of dreaded disease. Sure you have to get back out there and get on with it but you don’t have to date everybody and you don’t have to be desperate and waste time with obvious Mr. Wrongs. Sure if you want a little no-strings-attached action from time to time, you are an adult and it is up to you. But just because you are divorced does not mean you have to throw all your standards and principles out the window. You can take your time and ease your way into the next relationship with the right person in the right way and in the right time. And maybe you can manage it on your own. You don’t need all these people setting you up. Besides, would they date these people they are trying to saddle you with?