ON BEING ENOUGH
We are very fond of Meghan Markle, the new girlfriend of Britain’s Prince Harry. So we follow her blog The Tig and I even read one of her posts this morning about “being enough.” And I just thought it was a great article because I know the struggle of feeling like you are not enough and you are not good enough or pretty enough or young enough or skinny enough or worthy enough or whatever enough especially in relationships.
I still have these struggles and I can’t say that I feel like I am enough. For just about anything. But I did note that Meghan wrote that when she was 33 and she is 35 now so she is like my big sister and she is my new role model and I aspire to be like her when I get to her age.
With that said, is this a problem for you in your relationship and your marriage where you feel like you are not enough? I wonder if this happens after marriage or if people marry people who make them feel like that even before marriage. For example, if you are a little bit chubby and your boyfriend keeps telling you to lose weight do you still marry this guy? Because I am guessing that after marriage he is not going to stop telling you to lose weight. And the thing with weight is that everybody wants to be skinny like Meghan Markle and girls like that but we aren’t all skinny like that and it can give a woman a complex if her man keeps telling her to lose weight and then you marry this person? Are you nuts?
But I would imagine that even guys can have this worry about being enough? Is he manly enough? Is he rich enough? Is he strong enough? Does he make enough money for this woman to keep being happy with him or will she find the next better thing on the train on her way to work?
I think feeling like you are not enough can potentially wreck marriages because it makes you a little bit paranoid and then you are likely to cheat because you think that your partner doesn’t really really love you so you look outside the relationship for validation. Often times you think your partner is cheating but you could be wrong. It is you. It is you who feels like you are not enough.
I think it is so important to feel like you are enough but how do you force yourself to feel this way if it is not how you really feel deep down inside? I don’t know. I am very hard on myself and I can be insecure in this way too with many different issues.
I just think it is such a mistake and can be such a problem in a relationship. Yes, it definitely can lead to divorce when you have this insecurity swimming in your head all the time. What about you? What do you think about that?