Nobody can predict how they will respond in all situations and certainly when it comes to the divorce, and being asked for one, people’s reactions run the gamut.
One reaction is raw, unchecked rage.
We all prefer not to think about that. Because what do you do with the person who becomes so unhinged by the implosion of their marriage that they are willing to do harm to themselves, to others, and even to property and animals? They rant and scream and yell and make threats which they sometimes carry out. They buy guns. They just go totally and completely berserk.
Is there a way to mitigate these types of responses? I would say not always. Some people just have an explosive personality. Others, who may be mild mannered under normal circumstances could just be utterly unable to deal with the idea of this divorce. It really depends. So many different factors are at play.
But what if you are the one who feels this unchecked rage? What can I say to you right now that will make you diffuse even a little bit? Hme…well, I hear you. You are mad as hell. You are really angry. You don’t feel like you deserve what has happened and what is happening. You feel the need to get revenge. You don’t care. You are beyond caring what the consequences of your actions will be. You just need to express your rage.
I hear you.
What can I say? This is what I think you should do: Fill your lungs with air. Count to ten. Exhale. Do it again. Do it another time. Close your eyes while you fill your soul! with living air and slowly exhale till you feel calm.
This, too, shall pass. This divorce, this situation, this day, this month, this year, this whole stinking situation, it.is.going.to.pass.
In the meantime, why completely fuck up your life and everybody else’s? Just for a short term feeling of vengeance?
Didn’t you know? Happiness is the best revenge. The best. In time, if you give it time, you can actually find happiness and laughter and joy and love again. Why fuck up your future by doing stupid stuff now just because this person doesn’t love you anymore? Hey, start by loving yourself. Then give it time. This will pass. And you will even find a new love.
So breathe in, breathe out. Inhale, exhale. Stay in control of yourself.
It’s just a divorce.