Before You Hire a Hitman to Kill Your Husband Consider These 5 Things

So you have had it up to here with your husband and you want him dead.  You have already done all the research and you know exactly how you are going to do it and who will help you get it done. You have weighed all the pros and cons and think you can pull it off without a hitch.


Think it over.

Consider these five things before you take another step:

#1. There is no perfect crime. No matter how smart you think you are and how many times you go over the details in painstaking precision, you are going to mess up. Everybody always messes up. Something will be left on the scene of the crime to tie your DNA to this dead man. And if you live in New York, even if it takes the NYPD 25 years, unless you die before then, you are gonna be busted.

#2. Even if your husband has life insurance, once there is even a suspicion that there was foul play you are not going to get a dime of this money.

#3. What about the kids? If you have kids, is it really your right to deprive them of their father? Who do you think you are making this type of decision for these individuals you happen to have spawned? Even if he is the worse father in the world, that is their conclusion to draw. It is not your place to take matters into your own hands and usurp their right to kill him themselves – if they should be so inclined later on.

#4. Who is gonna pay your alimony? Cause it ain’t gonna be his estate.

#5. As bad as it is to be married to this bastard son of a bitch (and, and I mean, excuse my french but these were your words not mine) is he worth spending the rest of your life in a penitentiary when you can just divorce him instead, get life long alimony and find yourself a new toy boy to have amazing sex with for the duration?

Girl, you better get a grip.