Sometimes, two people (or three, or four) just have different philosophies about how to raise children and sometimes, these styles are not only incompatible, they are combustible. On occasion, this even leads to so much conflict, that divorce is the only logical conclusion.
How were you supposed to know beforehand that you would see things so differently? Had you known you probably wouldn’t even have had the kids, right? Maybe you would have still had the kids but knowing before hand that one of you is strict vs the other who is more permissive might have better prepared you for this experience of raising kids.
The thing is that a lot of times until you have the kids, you really don’t know if you will be strict or lenient. So watching other people parent and having passionate discussions about what you would or would not do before you have kids is not always helpful.
The key to successful parenting is to be a united front with the kids. Except of course in cases of abuse. But you can’t have one parent completely undermining the other parent in front of the children or usurping the other parent’s authority. You also can’t have a war in front of the kids where they know that mommy and daddy do not agree on even the basic disciplinary issues because the home will only fall into chaos and discord like that.
Indeed, sometimes it’s not just discord, it can lead to divorce. Look at Brad and Angelina. Didn’t she say that they are divorcing because she does not agree with his “parenting methods”? So this is a serious issue. It can sometimes be reconciled with marriage and family counseling, I would bet. But if the problem is severe, and if there is abuse, it could also lead to the end of the marriage and family structure. How often? I do not have the statistics but I bet a lot more often than people realize.