Why Do "Stay at Home Dads" Have Such a High Rate of Divorce?


stay at home dads
Why do stay at home dads have such a high divorce rate?

I am not the stay at home dad kind of a guy and I readily admit it. I would find such an arrangement “utterly emasculating” as my friend Gary would put it.  I don’t think that most guys are cut out for that and it is why so many stay at home dads end up divorced.
In a recent post in the Daily Mail, Why being a stay at home dad is the quickest way to kill your sex life (and can even lead wives to stray), the author, Martin Daubney writes a hilarious if the not explanatory piece on why the divorce rate for stay-at-home-dads is so high. And he also makes the point about the arrangement being “emasculating.”

In a recent study, one in five stay-at-home dads claimed their new role made them feel ‘less of a man’ but I’m surprised it’s not a lot more. The daily grind of feeding, changing, washing and folding started to make me feel like an exhausted housewife. With every snuggle suit that was hung on the line to dry, a little piece of my masculinity blew away in the wind.

Not only that, but for stay at home dads, it seems the whole arrangement is a libido killer. They just lose their mojo and sex appeal. Daubney says that he lost his sense of sexual attractiveness, and it makes sense. Stay at home dads just become soft – and it probably just has to do with the nature and stature of the work they do. I swear they can’t get it up after a while (maybe due to all the baby vomit they clean up all day) and their wives get fed up and leave them for more traditionally successful, virile men they meet at work.

One of the things stay at home dads struggle with their wives with is money and finances. He felt, Daubney did, that his wife should pay for things since she was the one who was working and he was content to bank his own cash and not spend it on the household. This, obviously, did not sit well with his wife.

But more than that, it seems that the wife’s total loss of respect for her stay at home husband because he is a stay at home husband, is the thing that completely unglues the relationship. Relationships just generally CANNOT survive with this type of gender reversal. It does not matter what delusional arguments we make to the contrary. Gender matters and gender roles matter in relationships. Period.

Divorce lawyers seem to concur that the stay-at-home-dad divorce is a unique type of marital implosion in terms of the levels of acrimony when the parties split.

being a stay-at-home dad can have a terrible effect on relationships, as divorce lawyer Vanessa Lloyd Platt has witnessed.

‘Revolution in gender roles’: Divorce lawyer, Vanessa Lloyd Platt, says divorces have doubled among couples where the dad stays at home to look after children

Incredibly, she says that divorces where the man is a full-time dad have doubled in the last five years, and now account for 10 per cent of all marital break-ups.

‘In my experience, 25-30 per cent of couples where there is a stay-at-home dad end in acrimonious splits — and it is almost always the woman who initiates proceedings,’ she says. ‘It’s the biggest explosion we’ve seen this year. It’s absolutely astounding.

My conclusion is as follows: Stay at home dads have a high divorce rate as compared to dads who work because nature did not intend for men to sit home like a bunch of P***ies while their wives go out to work. It’s the opposite.

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