Fashion Tips for the Divorced Man Who No Longer Has a Wife to Groom him

Filed in Divorced man

Now that you’re A divorced man, maybe it is time for a makeover?

Okay Mr Divorced man, time to unblock the Swiss account and go on your first post-divorce shopping spree without wifey in tow to be all bossy about the whole thing, and to force you to match your shoe (and socks! And leather!) to your stuffy old banker’s suit.

Thank god you no longer have to listen to her! Dressing is supposed to be fun!

Now. For all you divorced men out there. Before we get into it, this post assumes that you have already taken care of other matters such as the purchase of the new car, the new pad in the trendy side of town, and the live in Thai housekeeper/masseuse to basically keep you nice and relaxed. You have, haven’t you?…oh, wait, are you saying there is no secret Swiss account? You barely have any money? You told the truth in divorce court?

Still. Even if you don’t have tons of money (or even if you do) you still should treat yourself to a “divorced man makeover” after the divorce. You should change up your look and new up yourself after she leaves so that you can attract new babes. As a matter of fact, I would go even further to say that in the first month or so after your divorce, you should consider a whole new wardrobe. The wife, you see, was a little bit uptight and a little bit too proper for her own good and yours too. And this was fine when you spent most of your time in Palm Beach. But now that you are going to be looking for a new permanent gal (or boy) pal – and a much younger one than the wife, (heck, I hear you are thinking of spending a month in Ibiza) then you have simply got to change your entire wardrobe. While she is busy washing you out of her hair, you need to get busy taking her off your back and out of your trousers.
Below are 10 divorced man wardrobe updates to buy – and you should only get the best quality of that your money can buy. Ready boys?

The Cool Divorced Man List of Wardrobe Basics:

  1. A nice watch.
  2. A baseball cap (never again wear a hat, not even a felt fedora!)
  3. A pair of white Adidas sneakers  (which you will wear without socks)
  4. A couple of cool tee shirts (no loud colors only neutrals)
  5. A couple of pairs of close-fitting (but not too tight) dark jeans
  6. A colorful leather belt (that specifically does not match your shoes)
  7. A few denim shirts
  8. A brown Barack Obama leather jacket
  9. Toss all socks, ties and hankerchiefs
  10. A classic trench

You are cool.
Be envied
Become her obsession.