When Married Heterosexuals Choose Not to Have Children is it Morally Wrong?
When married heterosexuals choose not to have children should they be judged and condemned? I just read on Family Law Blog about this study that found that people are morally outraged by those who consciously chose not to have children. This to me is a very interesting finding. There apparently is all this backlash against voluntarily child free couples. It seems the study was based on married couples and not just adults generally. So having children is somehow seen as a norm when you get married, I guess. Parenting is a prerequisite when you get marriage. You have to do it and you have to love it and you have to be good at it and you better not mess up.
But this notion of marriage being about procreation and parenting is outdated now that gay marriage has been legalized, isn’t it?
Historically it was the argument used to prohibit gay marriage: that they cannot procreate with each other and marriage is for procreation. But now that gay marriage is the law of the land, I wonder whether this finger-pointing against heterosexual couples who choose to remain childless will stop or whether there will be a double standard? Because you can’t demand that heterosexuals have children just because they are married and turn your head when it comes to homosexual couples. That seems fundamentally unfair. They don’t get a pass just because of their biology. Because most may say we don’t have children because we can’t but there are bound to be others who would not have had or wanted children even if they could do it biologically.
Moreover, with all the problems with custody and child support issues that happen if that marriage comes to an end, it seems that at least for some couples, it is in the best interest of these unborn children not to bring them into the experience. Some couples are right NOT to procreate. Because custody battles are the worst. They are the absolute worst. And bad parenting that ends up rearing monster children/adults, should rightly be eschewed.
With that said, it is at best hypocritical to point fingers at people who decide not to have children, in my rarified view. At worse, it is plain stupid. And apparently, women are more heavily disdained for remaining voluntarily childless. It is as if their whole purpose in life is to act as a vessel for the male seed. Which seems completely wrong, offensive, and preposterous as far as I am concerned.
What do you think about this?