Dating After Divorce: How Can You Tell if it’s too soon
Dating After Divorce Does not have to be a stressful thing
Dating after divorce is a whole can of worms that, for a lot of people, can become a crisis. Especially women, it seems. Men are not so hung up on this question of whether it’s too soon to start dating after divorce. But a lot of women seem to have all this angst about it. Why is this issue such a big deal for so many women?
Why Shouldn’t you start dating as quickly as possible?
The thing is, nobody wants to be, or should be lonely if they don’t have to be. Our universe is set up in such a way that, wanting, needing and seeking companionship is totally normal. It is a basic human need, no matter your gender or sexual orientation.
Thus, the moment you begin dating after divorce (especially after a long marriage) is the moment you face the fact that you are human and you have needs. It is normal to want to move on.
Admittedly, the act of moving on and giving oneself permission to begin dating after divorce can take longer for some people.
Notwithstanding, you have to live. You have to find new love.
What about this notion of it being “too soon” to move on? Is there such a thing as “too soon”? Maybe there is no such thing as it being “too soon” to begin dating after divorce. It is really a personal decision. Only you can decide if you are ready.
Interestingly, psychologists will give you a whole checklist of things to tick off your list to know if you are ready.
But maybe it’s not even that complicated. It is not clear that you have to be totally over your ex and over your marriage to start dating again. You don’t have to wait to be totally healed from the last relationship if you don’t want to. Sometimes, dating after divorce is exactly the medicine that you need to get totally over your ex. Until you start dating, some people probably will never move on, and can remain emotionally and psychologically chained to their past, indefinitely.
It’s Not About sleeping Around
Frankly speaking, nobody is saying you have to start sleeping around. Dating does not have to mean having sex with people when you are not ready. But you can meet for coffee or you can have dinner. You can even travel together or spend the weekend at each other’s place (yes, without having sex if you are not ready for that level of intimacy).
Dating after divorce does not have to be this daunting, angst filled decision.
In fact, don’t even think of it as a “decision.” Just make it happen naturally whenever the opportunity arises – even if you have to orchestrate the opportunity yourself. Cause, really, it’s not such a big deal. Granted, for some people getting divorced feels like “death” and so there is a normal and natural period of grieving for some people. Everybody responds differently even to death and so there is no one size fits all rule of when it is appropriate to begin dating after divorce.