The 7 Week Divorce Cleanse: Inspired by Gwyneth Paltrow

The 7 Week Divorce Cleanse: Inspired by Gwyneth Paltrow

Since her divorce, Gwyneth Paltrow has become a zany little thing, hasn’t she? She was peculiar before but since her divorce, if possible, she has become even more whack. Don’t get me wrong: I love that about her. But she is whack. I mean, she steams her vajajay! You have to wonder about anybody who cops to steaming their vajajay. What if she fatally burns the delicate skin! Ya know? The girl is whack. And I say that with love. She is whack, whack, whack, whack and more whack.

But, so, anyway, Paltrow recently copped to doing a seven week “nightmare” cleanse in an interview and I liked the idea of the 7 week cleanse. It sounds like utter torture but what is life if you cannot be utterly tortured? I thought, “heck, why not a 7 week divorce cleanse for recently divorced people?”

Does this mean I want to torture recently divorced people? No, but they can surely benefit from a cleanse. Look at how great it makes Gwyneth look?

This is an easy cleanse. It is going to be all about eliminating stuff – permanently from your diet. So I figured, drop one item each week for 7 weeks and then, never go back. What should you drop?

  1. Alcohol (all) You really don't need it.
  2. Illegal drugs You really don't need it and it is incredibly aging.
  3. Prescription drugs that are not specifically needed for an illness but instead you are abusing
  4. Cheese and other dairy products (bad for your cholesterol, plus, what is the nutritional value that you can't get from other foods?)
  5. Sugar (but you can have honey)
  6. Soda (even sugar free ones)
  7. Meat (except for fish and chicken)

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