Diary of Lindsay Shookus

Linday Shookus’ Diary

My name is Lindsay Shookus and you can just call me the “hostest with the  mostest.” Cause I’m bad and you know it. I am bad and you KNOW it!

Look, everybody. I did. not. have. sex. with. Ben. Affleck prior to his divorce from Jennifer Garner. So please excuse me EVERYONE.

Ben and I have been friends for YEARS. Platonically. (sic intended)

He calls me his “little shookie shookie” and we play like that, we banter. But it’s not what people are making it out to be. I never cheated on my husband with Ben Affleck or anybody.
I keep reading all this nonsense that Jennifer Garner confronted Lindsay Shookus about this. What utter NONSENSE.

I am not a star struck woman. I know a lot of celebrities and Ben came to the studio (Saturday Night Live) and you know what? He is a nice guy. All that talk about him sleeping with the nanny was so ridiculous. Ben would never, ever do something like. He has too much integrity. And frankly that is why I like him and admire him.

Do I think he is a good catch? Heck ya!

Do I think I can bag him? Heck ya!

He is a big, hot hunk of burning love, and you know what?…..

But first, I have to go shopping. Oh my god I saw a picture of me and Ben the other day and I was carrying my go to black leather bag and oh my god, I did not realize it looked so weathered! Oh my god! I have to get to Nordstroms stat!

image credit
(this of course is a fictitious interpretative journal entry)