Is your ex volatile, erratic and unpredictable since the divorce and so now you need to set up guardrails?
Are you dealing with a scary ex who has become volatile, erratic and unpredictable since the divorce? You are not alone and you are not crazy to worry that this person could be a threat to your life or that of your children. But whatever you do, do not exaggerate the situation and don’t be that person yourself.
But, so, how do you set up guardrails especially when there are children involved and your ex is volatile, erratic and unpredictable?
Well, you need to get protection from the courts, law enforcement, family, friends and everyone besides, of course. That is step one. Have a support based. Especially law enforcement because usually they would be the only ones who could stop your ex from doing something really crazy a lot of the times.
You need to be able to demonstrate this volatility and unpredictability to the relevant persons so that you can gain their support and their confidence and trust and protection. Sometimes, unless people see, hear or observe first hand what you are dealing with, they can’t relate and they think you are exaggerating.
Your smartphone is a very useful tool when dealing with someone who is making you feel unsafe or threatened. Don’t hesitate to film and record them in the act. Filming on your cell phone is not wiretapping and a lot of people film stuff all the time that is later used by media or law enforcement to catch criminals.
It is a delicate issue because you don’t want to invade people’s privacy but if the behavior is happening in your home or publicly (as opposed to in your ex’s home) it should be enough evidence to prove that your ex needs to be monitored, curtailed or stopped.
But do not underestimate your own power to disengage and to not be a part of story. Don’t take the bait! This is a huge part of setting up guardrails. Just don’t take the bait!