Can my husband win custody of our children even though they are so young?


Could Your Husband win custody? YES.

The New York Courts no longer follow the rule that custody of the children, even the very young ones, automatically goes to the mother. I can’t tell you how many times I am asked this question by mothers who feel that just because they are “Mom” they should have custody. Gone are the days when that is necessarily going to be the case.

We live in a world today when fathers are more involved in child rearing than ever before. More and more men are “house-husbands” than ever in the history of the world. More and more women are the main bread winners for their families. What that means is that daddy is more often than he used to be, home with the children, administering to their needs, doing the homework, taking them to the doctor, taking them to the ballet and soccer practice, giving them their formula, everything. The only thing he is not doing for obvious reasons is breast feed. That mommy still does by leaving the milk in the fridge as she rushes off in the morning to her corporate job. Mommy is very busy. She is a working woman and she loves her job and that’s fabulous.

But, there are repurcussions. A lot of times, the courts are ruling that the children should stay with daddy since he is the main caregiver. And the courts are ordering mommy to pay daddy alimony and child support, and see her kids on the weekend, and a month during the summer–sort of the arrangement that used to be daddy’s fate before so many women started making so much more money, and so many men started being Mr. Mom. For better or for worse, this is how the situation is playing out right now.

What can mommy do? Well if you are already in the throes of a divorce, not much. It’s too late already. But for the next time, if there is a next time, stay involved in the everyday ministerial activities and chores where your kids are concerned, no matter how busy you are and how in love you are. Make sure that you are at least 50% involved in child rearing, if not more. That goes for both parents. BE THERE. Or be square.