What to do when you are straight and your husband is gay


Did you just find out that your husband is gay? Well, if he is, that would definitely be a basis for a divorce. On what grounds? Jeeze, I don’t know. I’m confused. Did you say your husband is gay? So why are you married to him – assuming you’re not gay? Okay. Strike that question. Um, if he lied about being gay, then he concealed a material fact. This is a basis for an annulment, to say, the marriage never even happened. If you knew he was gay, as Jim McGreevey claimed his ex-wife did, then you probably can’t get an annulment. But the divorce would have to be crafted in such a way to say he constructively abandoned you. Or maybe he treated you cruelly by expecting you to participate in m√©nage a trois with his gay lovers, or, frankly, if you have proof, hit him with an adultery action – which, by the way, is still a crime in New York State.
Actually, nowadays, if you find yourself a straight woman and you wake up one day and realize yourhusband is gay, you can just get a good old fashioned no fault divorce. So forget all that gobble-de-gook.
But, boy, that must be totally bizarre, finding oneself a straight woman whose husband is gay. How does that happen? Did you marry with your eyes wide shut? It’s one thing to say your husband met a woman in Starbucks, for whom he is leaving you, such as New York billionaire Henry Silverman apparently did to his beautiful wife of 30 years, Nancy Silverman. That’s one type of devastation.
But for your husband to come home and affirmatively announce he is “gay?” Or for you to hear he’s been caught in an airport restroom tapping gay men with his boots or something? My my. That’s just beyond. Because, conceivably, a woman still stands a fighting chance of saving her marriage if it is another woman we’re talking about. Even if things are so far along, he’s buying the woman million dollar apartments on Central Park West. She can always start hauling a– to the gym, nip and tuck her breasts, whiten her teeth, take him away to sexy Caribbean islands to try to romance him back to his senses, make him jealous by flirting with another, hotter, richer, taller and/or younger man, whatever. But, I mean, how does a woman compete with her husband’s gay lover? Where does she begin? What does she do?
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