How to Date Elon Musk: The 3 Times Divorced Dad is Looking for a Girlfriend

How to Date Elon Musk

Are you one of those women who would like to know how to date Elon Musk? Join the club. Who wouldn’t? It’s just that some of us don’t stand a prayer of catching his eye for numerous reasons which should become clearer as this post goes along. Tant pis! But for others, hey, you never know. The billionaire mogul who was recently seen singing, dancing and toasting marshmallows on the top of a building, is said to be on the prowl again, following his latest break up with Johnny Depp’s ex-wife Amber Heard (who was photographed kissing a guy in New Zealand lately, allegedly).

Musk is a father of a football team from first wife Justine Musk and he has had 3 divorces under his belt. One of his wives, a British girl named Talullah, he divorced and married twice. We have been writing about him for years, including this post about how he masters the “cheapskate” divorce. So if you date Elon Musk, forget marriage. Well, forget a divorce windfall.

According to, Musk is once again looking for love. So if you are in the market for a genius techy engineer type who also happens to be a billionaire, here is what you need to know about how to date Elon Musk:

  1. He only likes white chicks. Now, this does not mean he is racist. It is just that he likes and dates white girls only. So if you are Asian, African, Hispanic, or any other color, forget it. Sorry. Ok? Sorry. You don’t stand a prayer with this one.
  2. You have to be skinny. He likes skinny chicks. So if you have any weight issues at all, you have to address it before you place yourself in his path.
  3. You have to have blond hair. According to published but unsubstantiated reports, Elon forced his first wife Justine Musk to dye her hair blonde and since then, he seems to have a  predilection for women with blonde hair. Рnatural or bottle will do. (This is a debate, though, because he was recently linked to an actress with black hair.)
  4. He seems to be a leg man as all his girls seem to have nice, long legs.
  5. He has a virginity fetish too, as second wife Talulah was apparently “a virgin” when they met (she was 22).
  6. He likes his women significantly younger than he is. He has been decades older than a few of his lovers and wives.
  7. Lately, he is really into actresses. Rumors about him and several actresses have been floating around, even though he has been denying them all. But look at his track record and you will see. He likes actresses or women in the public eye, in the entertainment industry. Thus, if you are a lawyer, doctor, engineering-type forget it. Although, first wife Justine was a writer. So…
  8. He seems to dig chicks who are sexually slightly ambiguous/ambidextrous.
  9. He is not huge into overly large breasts so forget the implants
  10. He appreciates a big, healthy, clean smile on a babe, so get your teeth in order.
  11. He likes a maternal type of woman who can be a mother figure to his five kids (even though ex wife Justine is perfectly capable of mothering her own children)
  12. Shun ordinariness and be extraordinary in some way.
  13. Be bold, bodacious and resilient.
  14. Love cars, rockets & techy gadgets.
  15. Look hot in high heels.
  16. Don’t demand any more than 10 hours of his time per week.
  17. Don’t subject him to a long distance relationship.
  18. Be ladylike and sweet.
  19. Be willing to give him second and third chances when he messes up.
  20. Figure out how to be his best friend (while at the same time you need to know how to blow his little mind in bed.)

NEXT: Who should Elon Musk’s Next Girlfriend Be?
AFTER: Elon Musk Rolling Stones Interview Dissected

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