How to Avoid Being a Meal Ticket for your Ex
Being a meal ticket for your ex is miserable. It feels like a prison, or worse, like a death sentence by hanging. The problem is, for a lot of women and some men, it is easier to rely on their ex for sustenance than find a source of revenue. This could be their own fault as well as external reasons but the result is the same. You end up being a meal ticket for your ex and you hate it. Sometimes, it makes you hate your ex as well.
How do you avoid being a meal ticket for your ex? First of all, you need to marry the type of person who would rather cut off their toe than rely on you for your money. When selecting a mate, select your financial equal, or barring that, select a fiercely independent, proud person who doesn’t want anything from you. This can be hard to get right because people can fake it. They seem one way when you’re dating and they change after marriage. But you have to do your best with this to marry with your head and to know who you are marrying.
Next step: you need to have a prenuptial agreement. This has to be properly drafted by competent legal counsel to avoid any loopholes that would cause a judge to throw out the agreement for being one-sided or unenforceable for any other reason. The agreement has to be clear on what you are willing and able to pay and what your spouse is responsible for – namely their own financial future – in the event of a divorce.
Barring a good prenuptial agreement, you will have to negotiate a good settlement with your ex that includes provisions for your ex to find financial resources other than you after a reasonable period of time. It may mean giving more on the front end so that you can have freedom on the back end. For example, you could forego any interest in the marital residence and let your ex have the house outright – assuming there is equity in the property.
You have to power up with a good lawyer because you may have to go to trial to prove that your ex is capable of finding work and thus not entitled to have a meal ticket from you for the rest of his or her life. Even in the case where your ex is advanced in age or is terminally ill, maybe there are other solutions that the court can employ, like insurance, governmental assistance, charity, or family resources that could take the burden off of you having to be the meal ticket.
The one thing you have to avoid at all costs is having to pay lifelong alimony and maintenance to your ex. This is the killer and this is where you become the meal ticket and this is what you don’t need. Nobody likes being a meal ticket and you are not going to like being a meal ticket for your ex either. It may mean you have to use reverse psychology with this person, maybe even resort to trickery (keep this aspect legal to avoid bigger problems) and otherwise employ various non-traditional strategies to protect yourself and your future financial resources.